You Will Not Hurt This Child Anymore

My mother beat me, my sister and my brother on a regular basis.  She would scream that she wished she never had us.  Once she and I were home alone and the next thing I knew I was literally running for my life.  I remember her trying to throw an orange at me and as I was running I saw the orange splat against the wall.  Finally my grandmother came through door and I remember running toward her.  I was crouched in the corner of my bedroom when my mother came into apologize but all I could think of was that she was going to hurt me again.  Our beatings were severe, painful and we always wondered what we did to make her beat us so badly.  My brother went to school with hand marks on his face from when she used to slap him.  My mother made me strip down to nothing before she beat me.  We were beat with belt buckles, ironing cords and tree branches.  She would push us down because she thought we walked too closely behind her. 

I had a pretty bad experience as a child but, with many sessions of counseling, I have overcome it.  I’ve been in the legal field for over 15 years and am currently studying to get into law school.  I have a daughter of my own and still to this day, I cannot put my mind around how my mother could do those things to us.  I do have contact with her because she apologized when we were older but a part of me hates her.  I sometimes imagine going back in time, at a moment when my mother is beating me, and holding her arm back and telling her, “You will not hurt this child anymore”.  I guess it’s my way of handling what happened to me, which I still have a hard time with to this day.

Childhelp

CFC# 11571