Abuse and Mental Illness

My name is Kimberly, I am 20 years old and I thought I would share my story. I was born in Oklahoma and my abuse started when I was seven and my dad got re-married. I thought things would be so much better than with my real mother. My real mom would let me and my sisters just stay with anyone. We were blessed all that happened to us was getting molested, mostly by our own family members, but my real mom didn’t care. She was too worried about herself and her addictions.

When I met my step mom, I thought she was so nice until I got to know her. In front of everyone she was the perfect mom. She hated me because my father loved me. I remember my daddy always used to bounce me and my sisters on his knee, and I remember my step mother saying, “Get off of his knee. So what are you trying to screw your daddy now?” I didn’t know what that meant but she was very scary. I also had two step brothers. They were much older but still lived with us. I was seven and my other sisters were nine and 11. My step mother always accused us of trying to screw them—as she called it—so she would lock us in the garage when she went to work and make us pee in a blue bucket, so we wouldn’t have sex with “her boys.”  She was mostly verbally and mentally abusive with us. She would always keep my hair cut short and would tell me I deserved to get made fun of. She purposefully dressed me like a boy so I wouldn’t have any friends. She even insisted on sitting in class with me on occasion to make sure I didn’t have any friends and to make sure I didn’t tell our family secret. She told me she was always watching me on all the cameras and when there wasn’t cameras it was, “I know everything you do because I put a chip in you.” I was so scared.

She often came to my school and told the counselors I was a problem and that I hit myself to get attention, so she wouldn’t get in trouble for all the bruises on me. I remember finding out she was going to a psychiatric doctor for being a schizophrenic with a borderline personality disorder. She made me feel so small and told me I wouldn’t ever be anything. She wouldn’t allow me to speak with anyone in the family without permission or to look into her eyes. My head was always down because I wasn’t worthy enough to look upon her. She finally kicked me out when I turned thirteen because I started to defend myself and she was getting too old. It was finally over...

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