All Alone

As my parents got divorced my mother introduced us to her boyfriend at the time. He befriended us and appeared to care for us as his own children. Unfortunately it was with cruel intentions. This man turned out to be a child molester.  I dealt with it from the age of 9 years old to about 12 years old. By that age I wasn't as scared of him as I used to be and would spend long hours outside of my home to get away. What hurts even more is I was the only one fighting for me at that time. I had told my mother only to be turned away and called a liar. At moments when she thought I might have been telling the truth she would take me to his mother to ask her if this could be true and of course as his mother she would say no. I remember being 9 years old contemplating suicide thinking I would never get out of that situation.  No child should have to wish that she'd never wake up again. My mother began to hate me saying I was trying to ruin her relationship after authorities got involved at about the age of 14. Sadly, no one believed me.  Even the officer that showed up told me he did not believe me. According to him I was a teenager acting out.

After going to live with my father I was able to burry the memories away for a long time, but life just wasn't the same. I literally stopped caring about everything and everyone.  I've fought depression in silence all these years, but I was lucky enough to find a partner to share my life with, and we now have a beautiful baby. 

This is not the happy ending though since I want nothing to do with anyone from my past. My mother recently contacted me to see my baby.  My reply was simply, no I could not do what she had allowed to happen to me. This has split my family in half since my brothers remain living with her. However, my child outweighs anything and I refuse to put her in danger.  I personally know the battle I fight everyday over the memories.  I'd like to thank you for the chance to tell my story. Sadly I'm still in the fight to overcome child abuse.


CFC# 11571