I Believed Her

For the longest time I wondered why I needed to live. I wondered why I
 was hated so much that my mother and her many different boyfriends
 would hit me. I didn't understand how I could do something so wrong. Why
 was I so stupid to make stupid decisions? My mother would hit me and
 my siblings really bad.  She would use objects to hit us. She would
 cuss at us and call us mean names. She once threw my brother down the stairs into the basement. She would lock us in our rooms without
 anything to eat and then leave us for days. I can still feel the pain in my stomach hurting from being so hungry. It took me a long time to be able tell
 anyone what was going on. Social workers would come and my
 mother would promise that she wouldn't do it again if we didn't tell
.  She would always say she was sorry and that she wouldn't do it again. I believed her.

When I was 14, my mother was in one of
 her moods. She started hurting us, and she almost killed my little
 brother by choking him. We got her off of him and he held onto me
 screaming not to leave him but she was yelling and hitting me to get
 out of there. At that moment I realized that no matter how much it
 scared me, I had to tell someone. I said a prayer to our Heavenly
 Father to please help us get us out of that house because someone was
 going to end up dead.

After a long night of police getting called and my mother locking us upstairs and not letting us out to the police, I knew
 the next day at school the social workers would come and it was the
 time I had to be brave. That night my sister and I decided I would
 be the one to tell because she was too afraid. I told and we were taken away from my mother and put into a
 foster home.

To this day my mother tells me that I'm a liar and that
 she never hit us. I have so much hate for her because of it, especially
 when she denies it because of all the pain and hurt she and her boyfriends put me through. I’m now 22 and afraid of men, I have
 nightmares and still feel the pain as the images replay in my mind.

After I graduated high school I worked and saved up money
 to move far away from her. I moved across the country leaving
 everything I knew and all of my family. I’ve been away for over 3 years and I have learned
  many things. I still struggle with issues caused by my mother and hope
 to one day be able to not let it haunt me anymore. I know I’m safe now and for once in my life I don’t feel like a mistake.  I'm
 working really hard to feel loved and I've made great friends who love me and are very supportive of me, even on days I just cry and they
 dont know what is wrong. They are there when I need someone to talk to
 , or when I wake up in the middle of the night from having
 nightmares. I will not let the past over take my life and stop me
 from moving forward.

I think it is great what this foundation is
 doing. I hope to someday be able to help other children who have lived the same kind of life I have and have found a way to beat the odds that
 have been placed on us! Thank you!


CFC# 11571