I Believed Her
For the longest time I wondered why I needed to live. I wondered why I was hated so much that my mother and her many different boyfriends would hit me. I didn't understand how I could do something so wrong. Why was I so stupid to make stupid decisions? My mother would hit me and my siblings really bad. She would use objects to hit us. She would cuss at us and call us mean names. She once threw my brother down the stairs into the basement. She would lock us in our rooms without anything to eat and then leave us for days. I can still feel the pain in my stomach hurting from being so hungry. It took me a long time to be able tell anyone what was going on. Social workers would come and my mother would promise that she wouldn't do it again if we didn't tell . She would always say she was sorry and that she wouldn't do it again. I believed her.
When I was 14, my mother was in one of her moods. She started hurting us, and she almost killed my little brother by choking him. We got her off of him and he held onto me screaming not to leave him but she was yelling and hitting me to get out of there. At that moment I realized that no matter how much it scared me, I had to tell someone. I said a prayer to our Heavenly Father to please help us get us out of that house because someone was going to end up dead.
After a long night of police getting called and my mother locking us upstairs and not letting us out to the police, I knew the next day at school the social workers would come and it was the time I had to be brave. That night my sister and I decided I would be the one to tell because she was too afraid. I told and we were taken away from my mother and put into a foster home.
To this day my mother tells me that I'm a liar and that she never hit us. I have so much hate for her because of it, especially when she denies it because of all the pain and hurt she and her boyfriends put me through. I’m now 22 and afraid of men, I have nightmares and still feel the pain as the images replay in my mind.
After I graduated high school I worked and saved up money to move far away from her. I moved across the country leaving everything I knew and all of my family. I’ve been away for over 3 years and I have learned many things. I still struggle with issues caused by my mother and hope to one day be able to not let it haunt me anymore. I know I’m safe now and for once in my life I don’t feel like a mistake. I'm working really hard to feel loved and I've made great friends who love me and are very supportive of me, even on days I just cry and they dont know what is wrong. They are there when I need someone to talk to , or when I wake up in the middle of the night from having nightmares. I will not let the past over take my life and stop me from moving forward.
I think it is great what this foundation is doing. I hope to someday be able to help other children who have lived the same kind of life I have and have found a way to beat the odds that have been placed on us! Thank you!