I finally stood up for myself


I am a survivor of sexual abuse and child neglect! I have been molested five times, all by people I know very well: My grandfather, my uncle, my own father (all of whom are related) my brother's friend and my mother's boyfriend. I was also raped at the age of 14 by a high school boyfriend.

The story I would like to share is about my mother’s boyfriend. I am most proud of that because I finally stood up for myself at the ripe, old age of nine. So here's my story. When I was nine my mom's boyfriend molested me. I kept it a secret until I couldn't hold on to it any longer. I told my mom and she asked him if it was true–he denied it all. I then went to a counselor at school and told him. I felt very afraid because my mom told me to keep it a secret, that it was no one else’s business but ours and I wound get a whipping if I told. But she had also told me along time ago that God made me a mouth for us to speak our minds... so I did. It was an emotional roller coaster. First I spoke to a teacher that I had gotten close to and told her my story, then to the police and finally to the social worker. They made my mom move out with me and my brother and sister.

It only lasted about a year before she went back to him and the touching started up again. I told a friend who encouraged me to tell again, so I told my aunt and she believed me. Two of my aunts and an uncle stood up for me and put that man behind bars. It took four years to finally achieve my goal and safety. My mom was also tried and did only a year for child neglect and I went home. I wish I could say it was all better but it wasn't ... I ended up moving out when I was 17. She had chosen another man over me once again—my father who had also molested me—but I had enough!! I am now 24 and still with my high school sweetheart. It’s been seven years and we have an 18-month-old daughter. I am still struggling a bit but I am safe. I love that my daughter still has not met my mother or father and I plan to keep it that way!

It is very hard to overcome any type of abuse, but we need to all learn to love ourselves first before we can start loving others. I still struggle till this day to love myself, and I tend to not finish what I start but I am learning to. My goal in life is to make a difference to those children who have experienced what I have and encourage them to speak out and get help. It is easier said than done but it can be done, and I would like to help out as much as I can!


CFC# 11571