Earmarks of an Abused Teenager
I guess it all started the year my father retired from the US Navy. He became a heavy drinker, and my parents would fight all the time. It wasn't until May of 1997 that it reached the climax. My father came into my room late one night after drinking heavily. He molested me. I was only 12. After it happened, he got up and said he was sorry and began to cry. I told him it was okay just to get him out of my room. Then, I ran to my mom's room and told her. At first, she did not believe me. She asked my father about it. He denied it.
After a couple of hours of me having to relate my story again and again, my mom somewhat believed me. I was sent to a counselor at school the next day and had to see a Child Protective Services worker. For the next year, I was not allowed to be alone with my father. I had to put locks on my bedroom door, and I went to a counselor at least once a week.
Ten months after this happened, my father died from a heart problem complicated by his drinking. That is when the emotional abuse began from my mom. She had always been a little overbearing and controlling, but once my father died, it became MUCH worse. You have to understand, my brothers both have problems. My older brother is mentally handicapped and my little brother has ADHD with aggression and is possibly borderline bipolar. I am the "normal" child. I was in honors classes, was really smart, and a little above average. So, my mom kind of made me the second parent. If I did something she didn't like, she would make me feel guilty. I had to wear the clothes she wanted me to, not from her "forcing" me, but from the silence she gave me when I didn't. A child always wants to please their parent, I understand now. We grew up in a hoarder’s house. I am not even going to go there. Those years were difficult.
I had all the earmarks of an abused teenager but no one, not even myself, recognized it. I gave up a lot of stuff. I didn't go to a four year college like I dreamed, I didn't wait to become sexually active, and the list goes on. I ended up going to a community college and then a year into it, I got pregnant. Luckily, the father of my child was a wonderful man. He knew my story. He understood coming from an abusive home himself. We got married and had our son. Two years later, we decided to move 6 hours away from my mother. It has been the best thing for me. I am now the mom of two wonderful children, I am a full time student working on 2 AA degrees and a TCC certification in Law Enforcement, and when I graduate in May 2012, I hope to be working in the field as a forensic technician, or in other words, a CSI. My dream job!
In my classes, I hear a lot about child abusers and murderers. Knowing some of what these children went through makes me want to fight harder for them, to be a voice for them when no one else will.