Roped to the Bed

"As the dusk draws to night, I can see visions outside my window that are near, yet so far away. The window seal slightly covered in dirt. Oh, how I wished someone would find me, to look through the dirty glass and see a young child roped to a bed in a brown paneled room. The thin rope cuts into my wrist like fishing wire. The pain is so unreal; I don't feel like I exist. The night turns darker; the room is shadowed now by the moonlit sky. My eyes draw heavy, but I am unable to close them in fear of the unknown. Noises race from down the hall, the screaming and shouting of adults, in wonders of what could happen next. My door cracks open, the sound of rusty hinges make the room seem eerie. Like a bad horror flick is about to be uncovered. A woman with blood shot eyes steps towards the bed. As the ropes fall to the floor, so do I. Being struck from behind, the room became darker, my eyes filled with wetness but not a tear would fall in fear of being struck again. Laying still on the ground, I watch the footsteps leave the room, I am now safe, at least for a moment's breath. I now can close my eyes, and not fear pain until tomorrow morning."

       I wrote this years ago when remembering what my life was as a young child growing up with my grandparents. It was unknown to me where my mother and father were. Why I was there all those years untill the age of 12, when my mother suddenly arrived, kidnapping me and bringing me to California. Never saying a word of why I was there to begin with, nor ever a "I'm sorry" for the harm that was done each day. I am 37 years old now. In law school, with two wonderful children of my own. My heart aches when I read stories of little one's being harmed. I was once that scared child. Now, as an adult I stand strong against the pain and now want to spend the rest of life protecting others from fear and mistrust. Life can go on. I chose to write my untold story here on this site. It feels like home to me. One day I wish to be a large part of Childhelp. For all involved, thank you for protecting the future.


CFC# 11571