They Were Enough!

by Lucinda

My maternal grandfather began sexually abusing me as early as I can remember. The abuse continued until he died when I was 8 years old.  I grew up extremely introverted and fearful of people.  I believe I attempted suicide at 4 years old because I thought I was a "ruined girl" and wanted to start over. I swallowed as many pills as I could find before I was taken to the hospital where my stomach was pumped.  I have no relationship with any family members because of this.  They have called me a liar.  I felt it best to stay away from them because it feels as though I am being punished for bringing this to light.  My only support is my twenty-one-year-old son and my father who passed in 1990.  They were enough!  I thank God for them daily!  Looking back at my life I see how this impacted me.  I was diagnosed with severe depression and alcoholism.  Since I severed ties with my family I no longer feel the need to drink.  I have found different ways to define myself instead of "victim:" I am a MOM, musician, artist, a lover of people, animals, and life. I AM A SURVIVOR!